Ass Scab

I wrote this a while back.  It came up during today's warm up so I had to post it.  (Shout out to Carissa!)

I’ve coined this lovely term for a special condition that is most unique to the CrossFitting experience.  All you need for your very own condition of ‘Ass Scab’ is an Abmat and dozens of sit-ups.  This pesky condition sneaks up on you... typically when you’re in the shower - when that hot water hits the fresh abrasion.  The adrenaline of the moment (shit tons of sit ups) allows the condition to go unnoticed until it’s too late.  If you’re lucky like me you’ve already developed an unsightly ass callus to defend against the Ass Scab.  (God only knows what kinky shit my massage therapist thinks I’m into.)  A fresh Ass Scab will leave you uncomfortable for days... worse case scenario, a strange gait and difficulty sitting.  

But.. it’s all worth it because beneath the unsightly chub of my muffin-top midsection I’m pretty sure there’s an eight pack of killer abs.  YEAH!